I have never been so tired, so exhausted so frustrated or lonely in my life. My soul literally feels empty. Summer semester is going right now and it fucking sucks. it has been nothing but fight for access from the beginning. Here's the truth. If someone has access to the world, they do not care … Continue reading My Loneliness is Killing Me
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Well it's been awhile, you know that. I am fully ensconced in both work and school. Let me tell you, it took me a hot minute to balance it all out too. Working 40 hours a week, being a single mom and going to school full time is a lot. I thought just being Mary … Continue reading hello again….
So, it's 11:30 p.m, (MST). I went to bed two and a half hours ago. But I didn't go to sleep, I've just been crying. And simultaneously trying to figure out why the words of some stranger on the other end of a call has me so upset. That man who spoke those words to … Continue reading When my armor gets chipped
My friend has been watching Switched At Birth, it's her fist time but several re watches for me. I've been wanting to talk about this show for awhile, but haven't gotten to it yet. But I just saw an episode that I do want to discuss. It's in season two episode 15, and in it … Continue reading Ecce Mono
So, I'm re-watching This Close, which is a tv series made by two Deaf actors and it's done in ASL. It started out as a webshow on You tube. Shoshanna Stern and Josh Feldman wrote, produced and created it. I watched it when it premiered on tv (Sundance Now was the first place it's aired … Continue reading My Go-To
I'm realizing, the more I heal, the more I return to my Pollyanna state. What does that mean? It means, that one of the things I've always loved about myself was that even despite all the horrific things I've survived, I was always able to be glad about something. I was pretty picky about what … Continue reading The glad game
~ Mary BB *For Tuwin Old wounds poke through your leathery skin, eruptions of grief unhealed. The hot tears close your throat and chest. Reminding you the cost/reward of loving another. You feel she left too soon. But not before she taught you to love, to lower your walls, to let others love you. In … Continue reading Post Conversation With Tojan…
So. I went back to my audiologist at the end of my trial week and I ordered the Resound GN's. I had time to think and analyze and feel after my frustrated blog post. (The Silent Frustrations of Being Deaf). I discussed everything I was feeling/experiencing with my audiologist. She listened, empathized and responded: "I … Continue reading Recalibration
Everything in my life has been a simultaneous dichotomy. Okay I'm just going to jump right in. As I talked about before, I landed an INCREDIBLE job. SO amazing with such amazing people to work with and such an amazing company. I am so blessed an so honored and soo grateful. I literally am FINALLY … Continue reading The silent frustrations of being Deaf