Irony. I was just talking to my therapist on Thursday about how I could really feel my evolution and l am ready for the next thing. I didn’t know it’d be happening AROUND me and that I’d be staying put.
****Culture\language note; hunka is Lakota for honorary relative.you are choosing that person to bring into your family when you make them/call them hunka. That means you have to love and respect them as your own. If they have needs you fill them. You are always there for them. . Maske is Lakota for a dear friend, one who’s like a sister and holds the same weight as hunka. Cunksi: Lakota word for daughter. Nump Cunksi. The term I use here for maske’s daughter. My honorary second daughter *****
My daughter’s best friend*(hunka daughter), and my hunka sister* are moving to Maryland to be with her Boyfriend. OUCH
I’m so happy for maske*as she’s ready for a new step. And I’m thrilled for nump Cunksi*because her world is going to explode and grow in the BEST way. Her quality of education is going to skyrocket and I’m so happy for her. Maske* will get introduced to a whole new world. They’ve only lived in SD their whole lives so I’m happy their worlds are going to expand. More on this later.
I was so concerned for my daughter. I was worried her heart would be broken. She says she’s okay. She’s sad but “People move What can you do?” she’s always been more evolved than me.
Even though she says she’s okay now, I’ll be vigilant and aware and checking in to see if things come up.
I’m heartbroken. And my abandonment issues are kicking in HARD. See, Maske was an interesting sisterhood. The day my daughter and I moved in, they were RIGHT THERE because they lived right across the hall. The hallway is literally a foot and 1/4 wide. So yah. Right there.
Anyway my daughter saw her daughter and both their eyes lit up. Instant friends. Best friends within days. But her mom was definitely a horse of a different color for me. She was snappy and harsh and treated her daughter like dirt. It was awful. I’m mega protective of kids because they are sacred in our culture. So my bristles were up right away. I then and there honoraryly adopted her daughter and she became a part of our Family. My daughter is astute and saw and heard it too. There were many days in the beginning where we’d have to comfort hunka daughter, put her back together(emotionally) and remind her we loved her and that she was a sacred being. Watching my daughter remind her that she wasn’t the words her mother said made me proud. She was so compassionate with her. She’d give her pointers to try to deal with her situation. Omg I love my daughter so much and was so grateful for her. We both said prayers for the two of them. We’d prayed for strength and knowledge and fortitude for her daughter and that her mother would loosen her cruelty and realize what an incredible child she had.
So to say the least while maske and I were friendly and cordial, I wasn’t making any extra room in my heart for her to be my new BFF.
Then the weirdest thing happened. Maske started evolving. She was kinder to her daughter spoke nicer, apologized when she was mean. She was trying. That goes a long way in my book. Over time, things changed. As she got softer I realized she too was a single mom doing it alone. Only she didn’t have the same tools I did. That makes a big difference. I backed off my judgement and tried to soften myself. I changed my prayers for her from “make her stop being mean” to give her strength band wisdom to handle her hurdles” soon we bonded. My neighbor became my friend and after being there for each other in several situations, including hospital visits and drug reactions, we were tight as sisters. She continued to evolve and grow and seeing her bond with her daughter grow thrilled me. There’s more to the story but I’ll stop here for now.
I’m going to miss them dearly.
~ For now,
MBB
Between Silence And Sound 